I did all this crazy shit back in the 1990's in the US during what was then called the Men's Movement and Neo-paganism. At first it seemed cool and counterculture, then it really began to look pathetic seeing these white dudes trying to be all Native American and/or Celtic pagans. Later, after many annoying drum circles, it began to be an excuse for people to be hedonists, then I said fuck it and joined the Freemasons. After that, I just gave up until I walked into an Orthodox Church in Mogilev, Belarus in 2001. The smell of the incense and beauty of the icons brought me instant peace. Studied Orthodoxy in depth for 8 years before joining. Now, I am here in the heart of Slavic Orthodoxy (Kyivan Rus) being bombed, shot at and getting hit with missiles by an allegedly ancient Orthodox Muscovy. Life is fuckied up no matter where you are physically, psychologically or spiritually, bro. Now, I just drink a little Scotch and have a cigar to find my inner sense of peace. Gotta find what works for you, Darius. That's for advice and insight from Kyiv tonight, dude. Smoke'em if you got'em.